When I was 16, my world transformed in two profound ways. I became a mother, and I began the journey of raising a child who—like me—experienced the world through a neurodivergent lens. Neither of us knew it then, but we were both autistic, navigating a world that wasn't designed for minds like ours. ## Two Space Cadets Finding Our Way They called me a "space cadet" long before I understood what it meant. Lost in thought, missing social cues, overwhelmed by sensory experiences others barely noticed—I lived in a different orbit from my peers. When my son came along, I recognized familiar patterns in him, though his autism expressed itself differently than mine. He was a bit less on the spectrum than me, but together, we formed our own constellation. What we lacked in traditional guidance, we made up for in understanding. When he couldn't bear the feel of certain fabrics, I didn't need an explanation. When I became overwhelmed in crowded spaces, he instinctively knew...
Trauma doesn't affect everyone the same way. And when you're neurodivergent? The intersection of trauma and a differently-wired brain creates unique challenges—and requires unique healing approaches.
Why Neurodivergent People Are More Vulnerable to Trauma
- We're targeted more often. Autistic and ADHD people are at higher risk for bullying, abuse, and exploitation.
- We're misunderstood. When your needs aren't recognized or validated, everyday life becomes traumatic.
- Masking is exhausting. Suppressing your authentic self to "fit in" creates chronic stress and trauma over time.
- Sensory overload compounds stress. What's "just noise" to others can be physically painful and overwhelming for us.
- Executive dysfunction makes escaping hard. When your brain struggles with planning, decision-making, or time management, leaving unsafe situations is harder.
How Trauma Affects Neurodivergent Brains Differently
Sensory Processing Gets Worse
Trauma can heighten sensory sensitivities. Sounds, lights, textures that were manageable before become unbearable. Your nervous system is stuck in hypervigilance mode.
Executive Function Declines
ADHD brains already struggle with executive function. Trauma makes it worse—memory problems, difficulty organizing tasks, time blindness, shutdowns.
Meltdowns and Shutdowns Increase
Autistic meltdowns (emotional/sensory overload) and shutdowns (going non-verbal, dissociating) happen more frequently when trauma is unprocessed.
Masking Becomes Survival
Many neurodivergent people learn to mask (hide their traits) as a trauma response. You weren't safe being yourself, so you became someone else.
Dissociation is Common
Neurodivergent brains already experience the world differently. Add trauma, and dissociation (feeling detached from yourself, losing time, "spacing out") becomes a frequent coping mechanism.
Common Trauma Responses in ND Folks
- Hypervigilance: Constantly scanning for danger, reading every facial expression, overanalyzing interactions.
- People-pleasing: Saying yes when you mean no, sacrificing your needs to avoid conflict.
- Perfectionism: If you're "good enough," maybe you'll be safe. (Spoiler: it doesn't work.)
- Avoidance: Avoiding triggers, people, places—sometimes to the point of isolation.
- Self-blame: "If I was just less autistic, less ADHD, less 'too much,' this wouldn't have happened."
Why Traditional Trauma Therapy Often Fails Us
Most trauma therapies (like traditional CBT or exposure therapy) were designed for neurotypical brains. They often:
- Assume you can "just talk about it" (when many ND people struggle with verbal processing or go non-verbal under stress).
- Ignore sensory needs (therapy offices with fluorescent lights, strong smells, uncomfortable seating).
- Pathologize autistic traits (calling special interests "obsessions," stimming "self-soothing," directness "rudeness").
- Don't understand dissociation, shutdowns, or ND-specific trauma responses.
What Actually Helps: Neurodivergent-Affirming Trauma Healing
Somatic (Body-Based) Therapies
Trauma lives in the body. Somatic therapies (like Somatic Experiencing, TRE, or sensory-based grounding) help release trauma without requiring you to talk about it.
EMDR (Adapted for ND Brains)
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing can work for neurodivergent people when therapists adapt it (slower pace, sensory accommodations, honoring shutdowns).
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
IFS recognizes that we all have "parts" (especially common in trauma and dissociative experiences). It's helpful for autistic/ADHD folks who think in systems.
Sensory Regulation First
Before talking about trauma, regulate your nervous system. Weighted blankets, fidgets, safe spaces, noise-canceling headphones—whatever helps you feel grounded.
Trauma-Informed, ND-Affirming Therapists
Find therapists who:
- Understand neurodivergence (not just "treat" it).
- Respect your communication style (written, non-verbal, scripted, etc.).
- Accommodate sensory needs.
- Don't pathologize autistic/ADHD traits.
- Understand that healing isn't linear.
Self-Care for Trauma + Neurodivergence
- Honor your shutdowns. They're not weakness—they're your nervous system protecting you.
- Stim freely. Rocking, pacing, fidgeting—these aren't "bad habits," they're regulation.
- Create safe spaces. Low lighting, quiet, textures you love—design your environment for healing.
- Connect with other ND trauma survivors. You're not alone, and peer support is powerful.
- Unmask when safe. Being yourself is healing.
To Every Neurodivergent Trauma Survivor
Your trauma is real.
Your pain is valid.
You're not "too sensitive."
You're not "overreacting."
You're surviving with a brain that processes the world differently—and that takes extraordinary strength.
Healing is possible. And you deserve support that honors all of who you are.
For trauma resources, visit Trauma-Informed Care. For crisis support, see Crisis Resources.
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