When I was 16, my world transformed in two profound ways. I became a mother, and I began the journey of raising a child who—like me—experienced the world through a neurodivergent lens. Neither of us knew it then, but we were both autistic, navigating a world that wasn't designed for minds like ours. ## Two Space Cadets Finding Our Way They called me a "space cadet" long before I understood what it meant. Lost in thought, missing social cues, overwhelmed by sensory experiences others barely noticed—I lived in a different orbit from my peers. When my son came along, I recognized familiar patterns in him, though his autism expressed itself differently than mine. He was a bit less on the spectrum than me, but together, we formed our own constellation. What we lacked in traditional guidance, we made up for in understanding. When he couldn't bear the feel of certain fabrics, I didn't need an explanation. When I became overwhelmed in crowded spaces, he instinctively knew...
Regular burnout: You're overworked. You take a vacation and feel better.
Autistic burnout: You lose skills you've had for years. You can't speak. Everything is impossible. A vacation doesn't fix it.
What Is Autistic Burnout?
Autistic burnout is a state of physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion caused by chronic stress, masking, sensory overload, or a combination. It's not laziness. It's your nervous system saying "I can't do this anymore."
The Masking-Burnout Connection
Most autistic people mask (hide their autistic traits) to survive in a neurotypical world. Masking takes incredible energy:
- Forcing eye contact
- Scripting conversations
- Suppressing stims
- Overriding sensory needs
- Performing "normal" emotions
- Managing social interactions
You can do this for hours, days, or even years. But eventually, the cost catches up. That's burnout.
What Autistic Burnout Looks Like
Physical Symptoms
- Chronic exhaustion (sleep doesn't help)
- Pain (headaches, body aches, muscle tension)
- Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
- Sensory overload gets worse
- Frequent shutdowns (going non-verbal)
- Meltdowns are more frequent/intense
Cognitive Symptoms
- Brain fog, difficulty concentrating
- Memory problems
- Losing skills you previously had
- Difficulty planning or organizing
- Struggling to find words
Emotional Symptoms
- Depression, hopelessness
- Anxiety spikes
- Emotional numbness
- Irritability
- Decreased motivation
Social Symptoms
- Complete social withdrawal
- Inability to mask (even when you want to)
- Loss of interest in special interests
- Difficulty maintaining relationships
How Autistic Burnout Differs from Depression
They can look similar, but they're different:
- Burnout: Caused by masking, overstimulation, unmet needs. Recovery requires removing stressors.
- Depression: A mental health condition that can happen regardless of external stressors. Requires treatment (therapy, medication, etc.).
You can have both. Many autistic people in burnout also develop depression.
Recovery from Autistic Burnout
Stop Masking (As Much As Possible)
Masking is what caused burnout. Stopping it is the first step. This means:
- Stimming openly
- Being honest about sensory needs
- Taking breaks without explaining
- Reducing social demands
- Saying no without guilt
Reduce Stressors
- Leave the job, school, or situation if possible.
- Simplify your life (reduce commitments).
- Create a predictable routine.
- Minimize sensory input.
Regulation is Priority #1
- Sleep (as much as you need)
- Gentle movement (not exercise—gentle exploration)
- Sensory regulation (weighted blankets, stims, safe spaces)
- Low-demand socializing (if you want)
Accept the Timeline
Autistic burnout recovery takes time. Weeks, months, or even years. There's no "push through it." You have to actually rest and recover.
Preventing Future Burnout
- Reduce masking. The more authentic you are, the less energy you spend.
- Set boundaries. Say no to things that overstimulate or exhaust you.
- Build in rest. Regular breaks, sensory breaks, social breaks.
- Know your limits. Push a little, but not to the point of burnout.
- Find community. People who accept you as you are reduce the need to mask.
To Every Autistic Person in Burnout
You're not lazy.
You're not broken.
Your body is telling you the truth: you need to stop, rest, and be gentler with yourself.
Recovery is possible. It takes time. But on the other side, you get to be more authentically yourself—and that's worth it.
For self-care strategies, visit Safe Spaces Guide. For community support, join our Community.
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