When I was 16, my world transformed in two profound ways. I became a mother, and I began the journey of raising a child who—like me—experienced the world through a neurodivergent lens. Neither of us knew it then, but we were both autistic, navigating a world that wasn't designed for minds like ours. ## Two Space Cadets Finding Our Way They called me a "space cadet" long before I understood what it meant. Lost in thought, missing social cues, overwhelmed by sensory experiences others barely noticed—I lived in a different orbit from my peers. When my son came along, I recognized familiar patterns in him, though his autism expressed itself differently than mine. He was a bit less on the spectrum than me, but together, we formed our own constellation. What we lacked in traditional guidance, we made up for in understanding. When he couldn't bear the feel of certain fabrics, I didn't need an explanation. When I became overwhelmed in crowded spaces, he instinctively knew...
"Just go to bed earlier."
"Have you tried not thinking?"
"Maybe cut back on screens."
People love giving sleep advice—as if neurodivergent sleep issues are a personal failing instead of a neurological difference.
Why Neurodivergent Sleep Is Harder
ADHD and Sleep
- Racing thoughts: Your ADHD brain won't turn off. Thoughts spiral, ideas ping, your mind is everywhere but sleep.
- Time blindness: Hours disappear. You look up and it's 3am and you haven't slept.
- Hyperfocus: You're so engaged in something, you forget about sleep entirely.
- Emotional dysregulation: Anxiety spirals at night, making sleep impossible.
- Restlessness: Your body wants to move, but sleep requires stillness.
Autism and Sleep
- Sensory issues: Tags scratch. The bed feels wrong. Sounds are too loud. Your body is in sensory hell.
- Rigid patterns: Even tiny changes to bedtime routine derail sleep.
- Shutdowns: After overstimulation, your nervous system crashes, but that crash isn't peaceful sleep.
- Rumination: Social interactions replay endlessly. You can't stop thinking about conversations.
- Meltdowns at night: Evening is often when autistic meltdowns happen (accumulated overwhelm).
Combined (ADHD + Autism)
Racing mind + sensory sensitivity + time blindness + emotional dysregulation = a perfect storm for insomnia.
Why "Sleep Hygiene" Fails ND People
Standard sleep advice (dim lights, no screens, cool room, consistent routine) works for some neurotypical people. But for ND folks:
- Dim lights don't help when your racing thoughts are the problem.
- No screens doesn't matter if your brain won't stop thinking.
- Cool room might actually be sensory-offensive (prefer warm, cozy cocoon).
- Consistent routine is ideal, but executive dysfunction makes it impossible to maintain.
What Actually Helps ND Sleep
For ADHD Racing Thoughts
- Brain dumps: Write down all your thoughts before bed (get them out of your head).
- Audiobooks/podcasts: Give your brain something to focus on instead of spiraling.
- ASMR or white noise: Fills the mental space with something soothing.
- Physical activity during day: Burn off energy so your body wants to rest.
- Medication: ADHD meds can help regulate sleep (talk to your doctor).
For Autistic Sensory Issues
- Comfortable clothing: Tag-free, soft, whatever feels good to YOUR body.
- Weighted blanket/compression: Provides calming sensory input.
- Right temperature: Experiment. Some ND folks love warm, cocoon-like environments.
- Noise accommodation: Earplugs, white noise, or your favorite sounds.
- Dim (not off) lights: Some ND folks sleep better with low light.
For Both
- Flexible bedtime: Sleep when you're actually tired, not "when it's bedtime."
- Low-demand pre-sleep: Nothing stressful before bed (no difficult conversations).
- Acceptance: Some nights, sleep won't happen. Rest is still valuable.
- Naps: If your sleep is fragmented, naps might be your normal—and that's okay.
When to Seek Help
If sleep is severely impacting your functioning, talk to a sleep specialist or psychiatrist. Options include:
- Medication (melatonin, sleep aids prescribed by doctor)
- Sleep study (to rule out sleep disorders)
- Cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) (adapted for ND folks)
Accepting ND Sleep Patterns
Your sleep might not look like the "ideal" 8 hours at night. It might be:
- 6 hours at night + 2-hour nap
- Fragmented sleep (awake, asleep, awake)
- Late night sleep (you're naturally a night person)
- Polyphasic sleep (multiple short sleep periods)
If you're rested, your sleep pattern is fine.
To Every Neurodivergent Person Struggling to Sleep
Your sleep isn't broken. Your brain is just wired to sleep differently.
You're not lazy for sleeping more.
You're not broken for sleeping less.
Your sleep pattern is valid.
Work with your neurodivergence, not against it.
For self-care strategies, visit Safe Spaces Guide. For health resources, see Healthcare Navigation.
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